Back to Life (Back to Reality)

Okay, it’s about time I posted about the X-Factor. I’ve been watching for most of the series and my love/hate feelings about it continue. Part of me dies inside every time the Cowell bandwagon reels out another sob story of domestic hardship just prove that “This means the world to me and all I want to do with my life is sing” and “I know that my dead dad/mum/wife/hamster (*) would want me to do this”. (* delete as applicable). Oh. Piss. Off. I used to prefer all this when it was just Hughie Green and a clapometer. And there’s the rub. Nothing beats a good talent show and you really get to shout at the TV with gusto from the moment Dermot waltzes on stage. Anyway, here’s the lowdown on the remaining mob…

Alexandra: I still wonder why Louis didn’t put her through to the finals two years ago (which Simon gleefully reminds us about all the time). It makes you think that, for a judge in a talent show, he’s not very good at judging talent. Alex is very impressive, even though I’m no fan of that Mariah-esque, R&B stlye. She could follow quickly in Leona’s steps given half a chance.

Diane: Vocally, she’s a bit of a Bjork-alike but that’s no bad thing, I quite like her. In talent show terms, she reminds me of Alex Parks who won Fame Academy. I’d be more than happy if she wins.

Eoghan: A few weeks ago, Mrs F said “Doesn’t Eoghan look like a Fraggle?!”, and now I can’t get that image out of my head. Sang his heart out on Saturday, which was the first time I had to concede he was doing okay. Usually, I sing a chorus of “Down at Fraggle Rock” over whatever he’s singing to try and drown out the noise.

JLS: Again, not my favourite kind of music but I do quite enjoy the comedy element that they put in their VT’s and they seem to have a bit of personality. A Beatles’ medley though… how very dare they!

Rachel: Anyone else think that her demeanor on Saturday was not 100% influenced by natural products. The way she bounded out for the sing-off and flitted around in a style completely at odds with the song. Something not quite right there. If she went out and won this thing, I fear that she could follow the Amy Winehouse Experience in more ways than one.

Ruth: I really like her even though I can’t ever imagine buying anything that she might go on to release. The lack of a natural, geographical fan base will sure mean the end for her sooner rather than later.

Time to judge the judges.

Cheryl: The nation’s new sweetheart…. has done wonders for her “celeb career” by being involved in this. Am I shallow for liking her?

Danii: I’m really undecided about Danii. Her banal and over-enthusiastic utterances must mean something to someone… but not me. I have no idea what she’s talking about most of the time.

Simon: Still always seems to get most of his criticisms spot on. However, in the privacy of his own home I bet he knows Eoghan is nowhere near good enough to win.

Louis: For the love of all things holy, would someone put him out of our misery. The way he jigs about and sings along to JLS makes me want to scream. So I do.

…and don’t get me started on “I’m a Celeb”

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